Week 15
yes, this month has felt that long.
I found myself trying to justify why camera life is my new jam recently. The vibe I got during that brief exchange was that my camera - a Christmas gift from Mom that I added to - was some kind of unnecessary indulgence. It was a brief convo, but it was one of those exchanges that tend to catch you off guard. Somehow, as I sat there trying to explain why I had splurged to get a cover and a light for the camera, I forgot my own practice. I've always taken a lot of pictures. I always used to ride my bike (another thing folks thought was unnecessary until they heard about the health benefits). I always used to paint. I did those things "spoiled, only children" do. I was encouraged to create and to play.
Camera life is good to me now even though some of my best shots from week 15 of January 2025 (yes, this month has felt that long) are nearly all work-related. I am not insensitive to what's going on in the world. The news reports. The folks near me who are going through things. The fear I see in my students. I simply recognize that I will eventually hit the end of my capacity. My mental capacity. My emotional capacity. My ability to give. The time is going to come when my ability to show up to the situations that call for me and the people who need me will collide with my fatigue. I need to create reserves while I can.
And so, learning to see light and angles, playing with lenses, figuring out how to find shots, and preserving memories is helping me. It’s more fuel.